dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
