a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
