What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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