That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Randomize
