i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
