it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
