It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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