we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
