Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
