i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
