ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
