his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
