we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
