Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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