We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
