32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
