Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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