There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
