I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
