it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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