Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
