Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
