I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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