my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize