Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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