he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
