She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
