My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
