Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
