she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
