Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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