Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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