I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
