Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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