Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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