remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
