Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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