Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
