i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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