It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
