I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
