I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
