Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
