so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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