I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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