We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
