I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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