Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
