I think I am morally bankrupt
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
