so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
