i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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